How much you can change in a year? not much not less

You never saw it coming, did you?

You just sat there, hoping for the best, but you didn’t thought it would be this complicated. This was the moment to really, really, freak out, started to hyperventilating, panic attacks, all you could feel at that moment you did, didn’t you?

In an Alanis Morissette (or whatever her name is) there is this phrase: life has a funny way of sneaking up on you, when you think everything’s ok and everything’s right, and life has a funny way of helping you out when everything’s gone wrong and everything blows up in your face

What I mean? What do I mean!!!??? I don’t have any clue of what I’m trying to say, I wanna make a statement but all I can think is what am I doing here, what am I doing with my life (living someone else’s life, dreaming of things instead of experiencing them). All the kind of…

It was such a grey place, the stones, all the humid land –recently removed-, that long night waiting who knows what, and out of the blue there you are and there I am. I was ironically shiny though, somehow the heaven was receiving you and I was…all the things I never said like thank you or I’m sorry are still in my throat, choked, unspoken words that I can only repeat to my loins.

If it is true that everything happens for a reason that must have had a great impact on me because I’m not the same. How many things have to happen for you to realize that life’s for living? That there’s not space for hesitation or displease, when can still change it? How many years, how many…?

Fuck! Sometimes you really love being there, sitting in the corner feeling sorry for yourself, but life is not free, it demands sacrifices instead, mature ness, changes. Things are not easy to fight against, that invisible ghost chasing you.

Do you have any dreams? Or projects, expectations of life (that not only involve marriage, the happy family, the nice house)? If you know the answer you’re really moving forward…if not start asking them.

I must be a lucky loser, you got me into thinking about life and I can’t thank you enough what you gave me.

(By the way… I loved you)